Enough is enough. That hunk of overpromising, underdelivering plastic on your office desk has got to go. What has your office phone ever done for you? And what could a new office phone with upgraded, integrated CRM features do for you? Why even waste one more second with bad communication when you can get rid of your terrible business phone and get a new one?
After you switch your business communication and find a phone service that delivers, you can toss the old office phone. But don’t just throw this unworthy plastic buttoned behemoth in the trash. Let’s destroy it with some style!
- The Neil Armstrong
That’s one small step for commercial phone services, one giant leap for commerce everywhere! This one is going to take serious investment and some safety goggles. Just call the Tesla customer service line at 1(888) 518-3752 and ask for Elon Musk, the CEO.
Once you’ve made small talk, tell him about your business communication issues and your old office phone. Ask him, politely, if he wouldn’t mind strapping your old office phone to one of the SpaceX rockets scheduled for flight. Simple duct tape will do. Then launch that terrible, ungrateful, unhelpful office phone into the stratosphere.
- The Buster Keaton
Who doesn’t love black and white, Buster Keaton films? The whimsy, the action, the near misses! Well you too can give you old office phone the Buster Keaton treatment for the small price of a circus cannon, and the best part is, you won’t need a catch net. Just launch your office phone into the sky and into business phone service history with the pull of a string!
- All Hail Cthulhu
Do you have any dark matter lying around? Great, this is the one time you get to use it! Your new office phone and business phone service is worth it. Simply summon the beast Cthulhu using a table spoon of dark matter, a pinch of Kosher salt, 3 ripe lemons, and gluten free pizza dough. Mix well and Cthulhu will be there in no time to destroy your old office phone.
- The Tuck and Roll
If you still think none of these methods to destroy your office phone are good enough; if you think that your old office phone was so vile that it deserves some special treatment, well then, the tuck and roll disposal method is for you.
It begins with training for roughly a year: High altitude training, mountain climbing lessons, renting a Sherpa, and then making your way to Mount Everest. Once there, pick a slope and gently roll your office phone down the mountain. Wave good bye to your troubles and tick something off your bucket list.
If all else fails, then just recycle. Recycling is the friendliest and most extreme way to dispose of an office phone. All scientists agree. Simply recycle your old office phone and install your new RingByName office phone. All set!